Okay, a little humor first. I officially have started worshipping the porcelain goddess every single morning, and by my count I only have 150 days of doing so to go! Woo-hoo! That's nothing, right? Right?
But, I have something much less humorous to talk about. My mom learned today that the pain in her breast is a pre-cancerous condition that leads the doctors to recommend either a lumpectomy with radiation or a mastectomy. There are so many wonderful things about this diagnosis -- since it is pre-cancerous, she has a 100% chance of surviving and the pain she has been suffering with will be relieved by the surgery. That is wonderful news.
She is taking it pretty hard, though. And, that makes me sad. I wish that I could take away all of her fears and let her see how truly wonderful this diagnosis is and how fortunate all of us are to know that she will survive and she will be just fine.
But, I understand how shocking it can be to think that someday soon, a part of yourself that in some ways defines your gender may no longer be with you. I understand that although she has been able to use them for their biological purpose (to attract men and to feed babies) and the reconstruction capabilities of surgeons are incredible these days, that it can still be very hard to think about losing your breast.
And, this type of thing cannot help to make you contemplate your mortality. I know she has so many things she still wants to do -- not the least of which is to meet her newest grandbaby and to watch her grandchildren grow up. And, this type of diagnosis makes her doubt whether she will be able to accomplish these things -- it makes her feel weak and frail and sick.
No one likes feeling that way. I just need to figure out how to help her to not focus on that feeling and focus on getting better and enjoying her family. We find out whether we have a little girl or a little boy on the way tomorrow, so, that should be a good distraction.
The Bernheisel List, 2023
4 months ago
2 comments:
Are you serious? You're now vomiting every morning? Are you ready to see the three lines on your ultrasound tomorrow?
I'm so sorry about your mom. Give her some time to be angry and feel bad for awhile. I can't imagine going through something like that. It must be horrible for her. I'll be thinking of all of you!
The doc says that it could be one of two things causing the daily throw-up session -- it could be the post-nasal drip from my cold which is worst an hour or so after waking up and walking around, causing me to gag OR it could be heretofore undetected heartburn causing acid to go into my esophagus while I sleep, and irritating it enough that it causes me to gag once things get going in the morning. So, if it is the first, I should stop throwing up once my cold stops, if the latter, it should stop once I start taking Pepcid AC twice a day.
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