Why I Like Living in the South -- Part 2

I realized that I have a couple additional kudos to give the South:

* I can wear fun colors and frilly stuff to work and still be viewed as professional. How great is that? I can do my hair and make up all up and still be viewed as professional. (Brooke is not a huge fan of the makeup look, so, I don't -- but the point is, I can!)

* Pedicures and sandals are a way of life and the season lasts from the end of March through early October.

* Country music suddenly makes sense and does not seem so darned contrived. I mean, there is a strip mall near us with a shop called "Critterville Outlet" -- guess what they do? They are taxidermists! Isn't that just straight out of a country music song? Gigging frogs makes sense -- those songs actually reflect how people live down here. It's amazing.

Why I Like Living In The South

Okay so, the evil demon Nausea seems to have said farewell. Thanks be to Heaven! Now, just keep those pre-term labor problems I had with Drew away and all will be forgiven. :-)

So, in tribute to our first anniversary of living in the South -- South Cackalacky to be specific -- I thought that I would post a list of reasons why I like living here:

1. Doors are always held, women are always given priority in getting on or off an elevator, and people generally are kinder and nicer. Although there is a definite sense of women being special because they are mothers or the "fairer sex" -- I do not find it offensive. I like being treated like a lady and not shoved aside so that someone can grab a seat on public transportation before me.

2. Five kinds of pimento cheese at the grocery store. I do not eat pimento cheese, but, I think it is charming that folks love the stuff so much that the store would have five variations available. In the Midwest they have five kinds of bratwurst. I think that is charming, too.

3. Family is always the best answer for why you cannot attend a meeting, for the answer to "what did you do this weekend?", to "where are going for the holidays?" I think this is a quality that most of the Midwest shares, but, places like DC take family for granted and if you use it as a reason for not doing something, then the cynics view you as being lazy or telling a lie.

4. Slower pace of life. I work in a busy little city, but even here, things move at a slower pace. What this means is that you can take some time to reflect and enjoy things more. If you are constantly going at a faster pace, then dealing with the slower pace can be annoying. But, when you LIVE here, it is such a relief to not be running, running, running and it makes daily life so much better.

5. Ten million barbecue shops. We always found it so strange to live in Chicago and yet have a hard time finding cute little sandwich shops that were not part of chains. In DC, we had two stand-out favorites -- the Lost Dog Cafe and the Italian Shop. But, in Chicago, it was tough-going. Hot dog places? Sure, but if you wanted a sandwich, it was Panera or Subway or Quiznos. So, what does this have to do with barbecue shops? Well, a good sandwich is never too far away when you have barbecue places all over. Plus, we have a local chain (very local) called McAlister's Deli that serves a huge variety of sandwiches.

6. Lemonade. You can always get lemonade -- all year long.

7. Diet Dr. Pepper at the soda fountains. Seriously. You go to McDonald's or Chik Fil A or Wendy's or Chili's or the soda machine in your office, you can choose Diet Dr. Pepper. Sometimes you just feel like a pepper, you know?

8. A prevalent sense of history. Now, it is certainly not the most comfortable of histories -- especially when you live in a town that still has a public park called "Confederate Park". But, there is a lot of history down here and I love that.

Mother's Intuition

We had the follow-up ultrasound. And, the really good news is that the baby's risk for Down's is still less than if I were 20 years old (1 in 1900). That is the gold standard for Down's risk, so, we are mostly relieved. They still offered us amnio to confirm one way or another, but, since the risk of complications (including miscarriage) from amnio is 1 in 390, we just could not justify the risk. Plus, amnio sounds painful and yucky, and I wouldn't want to do it unless I had a really good reason.

However, the two "soft" markers they saw last week were confirmed. There are apparently eleven different markers for Down's that they look at and it is not so much the "number" of markers as it is which markers are found. The biggest indications being the thickened neck, small limbs for the age of the baby, and a head/brain that is also behind in development. Our little guy had none of these indications -- and his head/brain is ahead of development (just like big brother Drew's was).

The bright spot on the heart is a calcification that does not impair function at all and just is. They spent a lot of time looking at the baby's heart (mild heart defects are another indication of Down's) -- they have cool technology to show the blood (in colors) flowing into and out of the four chambers. The baby's heart is absolutely fine -- no problems at all.

And, the water on the baby's kidneys was still there, and a little bit worse than last week. We will have a follow-up ultrasound at 34 weeks to see if the water has dissipated. If it has not, then the very worst outcome would be the baby needing surgery in his first year to correct the problem. But, the baby will thrive regardless and be just fine, and the surgery will be successful in correcting it.

Thank goodness we had the first trimester screening done, otherwise we would be sweating it out right now. That screening came back with fantastic numbers -- a 1 in 5200 chance of Down's. So, that really helped them more accurately revise the risk. Otherwise, they would be working with the average risk for my age -- 1 in approximately 500 or so and revising from there.

The whole experience was a little terrifying though -- they were 45-minutes late getting us into our appointment because they apparently had a bad morning and had to give more than one set of parents really bad news. There was a man crying out in the hallway, and it was just heart-wrenching to see and hear.

So, we know how lucky we are. And, we are trying to not look the "gift horse" in the mouth and wonder if the risks could bear out to affect us and our new little boy. I think that both of us feel so lucky to have such a wonderful little boy in Drew, that we are waiting for the other shoe to drop. But, perhaps there is no shoe and perhaps it is just a little squirt of water instead. :-)

It was cool to spend that much time looking at the little guy, though. I have been feeling him kick for some weeks now, and it was really awesome to feel him kick and see it on the ultrasound. I keep telling Brooke that the baby "told" me during the ultrasound that while he may have the kidney problem (he can't quite tell yet), he is fine otherwise and will be able to keep up with Drew every step of the way.

Brooke thinks I am crazy, but, I swear that Drew told me that he was going to be perfect during one of my ultrasounds with him. So, you know, mother's intuition. :-)

No Improvement

Day #13 of the cold-that-would-not-go-away. At least I no longer feel like my head is wrapped in cotton and, well, that's all I can say has improved. I have now developed the cough, which at times has me retching into the garbage can at work. It is lovely. LOVELY.

The nausea is also not improving. Not at all. At this point, I don't care how much weight I gain during this pregnancy, as long as it means that I stop feeling nauseous and have an appetite big enough to eat and eat and eat. I got a cheeseburger for lunch yesterday -- it was not a big cheeseburger -- and I could only eat half of it. That is pathetic. Lunch today was red grapes and a cinnamon roll. Breakfast went onto the grass outside a church on my way to work.

At one point, before this dumb cold, I had managed to gain five pounds. Now it is back to two pounds. The baby is fine though -- kicks a decent amount, and seems to be at his kicking glory around the same times Drew Caleb kicked me every day -- the 4 o'clock hour and at night right after I lie down to go to sleep.

I started sorting through Drew's old clothes yesterday, since they will have an encore with our new little guy. I have tons of 0-3 months clothes that barely have any wear -- Drew grew quickly. The 6-9 months clothes win in terms of sheer numbers, though. While we definitely do not need to buy a stitch of new clothing for Tunstall Boy #2, it will be kind of fun to pick out special pieces just for him.

Wish me luck on tomorrow's ultrasound and with feeling better, after all. :-)

It's a Boy!

Yes, we have boy #2 on the way! Our plan all the way along has been that if we have two boys, then we will adopt a little girl in a couple of years. I am NOT going to have three little boys running me ragged! So, I guess we're adopting!

There were two small things that appeared on the ultrasound that need following up -- water on the kidneys and a bright spot on the heart. If either one had shown up by itself, they would not have sent us for a more in-depth ultrasound, but, since there were two things that popped up, we will be going for a more in-depth ultrasound. While water on the kidneys is a weak indicator of Down's Syndrome, our first-trimester screening was so strong, they are not concerned and just think it is one of those things (very common with boys, apparently). And, the bright spot on the heart could potentially point to some heart problems that they would need to be prepared for once the baby was born.

Drew Caleb had a small hole in his heart after he was born and went to a pediatric cardiologist for the first year, but, the hole has closed up and never caused him any problems. So, hopefully, if there is a problem it is something simple like that.

So, now we have a nursery to decorate (I am thinking of a cowboy theme), a name to choose, and Drew's old clothes to dig through and categorize so that they will be ready for Tunstall Boy #2!

As Brooke told his dad, "Mercedes is taking her wifely duty to populate the Tunstall name seriously!" :-)

Sobering

Okay, a little humor first. I officially have started worshipping the porcelain goddess every single morning, and by my count I only have 150 days of doing so to go! Woo-hoo! That's nothing, right? Right?

But, I have something much less humorous to talk about. My mom learned today that the pain in her breast is a pre-cancerous condition that leads the doctors to recommend either a lumpectomy with radiation or a mastectomy. There are so many wonderful things about this diagnosis -- since it is pre-cancerous, she has a 100% chance of surviving and the pain she has been suffering with will be relieved by the surgery. That is wonderful news.

She is taking it pretty hard, though. And, that makes me sad. I wish that I could take away all of her fears and let her see how truly wonderful this diagnosis is and how fortunate all of us are to know that she will survive and she will be just fine.

But, I understand how shocking it can be to think that someday soon, a part of yourself that in some ways defines your gender may no longer be with you. I understand that although she has been able to use them for their biological purpose (to attract men and to feed babies) and the reconstruction capabilities of surgeons are incredible these days, that it can still be very hard to think about losing your breast.

And, this type of thing cannot help to make you contemplate your mortality. I know she has so many things she still wants to do -- not the least of which is to meet her newest grandbaby and to watch her grandchildren grow up. And, this type of diagnosis makes her doubt whether she will be able to accomplish these things -- it makes her feel weak and frail and sick.

No one likes feeling that way. I just need to figure out how to help her to not focus on that feeling and focus on getting better and enjoying her family. We find out whether we have a little girl or a little boy on the way tomorrow, so, that should be a good distraction.