Depths of Embarrassment

Okay, so, having just had a baby and actively breastfeeding said baby, I have been in a lot of situations that are potentially embarrassing in the last several weeks. The piece de resistance has got to be my world-record time in managing to get badly stung by a jellyfish while at the beach (Oak Island, NC) this weekend. After duly lathering up and managing to get the baby adequately fed, loaded into his sling, walking to the beach, getting the baby settled in his Moses basket on the beach and sufficiently sleepy -- I waltzed into the water and within a minute, was yelping in pain from a stupid jellyfish.

The most embarrassing part is that apparently I am allergic to jellyfish stings -- I know everyone reacts poorly to the toxins, but, the doc at urgent care told me that my reaction to the sting was the worst he has seen this season. Fabulous. Nasty, bright red welts on the upper part of my right thigh that then bubbled up and started weeping. Did I mention I was in the water for less than a minute? The only saving grace is that I was holding Drew at the time and managed to swing him completely clear of said jellyfish.

But, that sting PALES in comparison to the horrifying embarrassment of my alma mater getting beaten in the "biggest upset in college football history." OMG. One of the lessons I learned in law school at said alma mater (Michigan, for those of you blessed souls who know nothing about college football) was that you never ask a question you do not know that answer to in court -- EVER. One answer can destroy your entire case -- all the weeks, months of work down the tube in an instant because you were too stupid or lazy to get all the answers prior to being in court -- just imagine how embarrassing that would be -- in front of your colleagues, clients, opponents, the judge? The same logic should have been applied to Michigan's football schedule -- NEVER schedule a game with someone that it would be horrifyingly embarrassing to lose to. NEVER!

I don't even know what to do with myself, honestly. Brooke thinks it is absolutely hysterical to tweak me about it -- and it is not as though I can hide from it -- Appalachian State is just up the road from Charlotte! Do I continue to root for Michigan and hope they can at least save some face by having a stellar remainder of a season? Do I just give up on them and tune in again next year when they have a new coach? Can I trade in my Michigan Alumni credit card for the year and get a new dog collar for Scout so that I am not a laughing stock wherever I go?

I am truly surprised by the depths to which I am embarrassed about this -- but, I seriously feel like hanging my head in shame and disavowing all connections with Ann Arbor and refusing to ever talk about my interactions with Lloyd Carr when I was on campus ever again. Maybe I will feel better about it in a couple of weeks. We'll see.