Back to Work -- A Breastfeeding Mommy's Lament

I returned to the office and working full-time this week. I am still working from home three days a week and will continue to transition back into the office for another few weeks, but, I am once again commuting.

I remember when I first started going back to work after having Drew that the mornings were the worst part. Getting organized for the day, dressing myself, feeding the baby, and spending quality time with him -- all before getting in the car -- was so hard. That first month of going back to the office, I was just overwhelmed and disheartened, thinking that it was never going to get better and I was doomed to never get to work on-time again. It did get better, but, as I said, that first month was hard.

Same exact thing this time around. Before Mr. Crunch (one of our nicknames for Heath -- from Coffee Heath Bar Crunch), Drew and I had special "Mommy" time in the morning. We would eat breakfast together and he would sit in my lap and we would watch Arthur (because Mommy wanted to, not Drew, by the way!) together. Then, we would go upstairs and wake up Daddy and in between snuggling together in bed and some running around, I would get dressed for the day and leave.

But now, I have TWO children to try to spend time with and one of them needs to be breastfed, which makes things even more difficult. And, I forgot how stressful things can be when you are the sole source of nutrition for your child and have to spend so much time away from him. Huge anxiety over whether I am pumping enough -- is this the day that Brooke will have to break out the formula? Ugh.

But, the bright side of the story is that I will eventually work out a new schedule with the children in the morning so that I can get to work on-time, and Mr. Crunch is already eight weeks old, so, I really only have four more months of stressing about whether I am pumping enough. I can make it through that! In the meantime, I must rely upon the begrudged kindness and understanding of my boss and clients -- that is my only choice!

P.S. I don't feel any better about blasted Michigan. This season is dead as far as I am concerned. I'll check in with them again next year.