Educating Our Children

Wow -- I thought that figuring out the best path for my career was laden with difficulty and stress. But, little did I know that the REAL stress comes in trying to figure out what is the optimal way to educate my child. Here are some of the questions Brooke and I have been grappling with:

• At what age should we start worrying about their "academics"?
• At what age should we send them to preschool full-time, or should we ever do that?
• Should we require that the preschool offer things such as Spanish language classes and music classes?
• Assuming we get them onto the right track in preschool, how will the public school kindergarten in our area compare?
• How soon do our public schools offer accelerated tracks and what can we do to ensure that our little boys end up on those accelerated tracks?
• We have a very active and physical little boy -- the balance of academics with physical activity is important for him -- how do we achieve that balance?
• When do we start him in organized sports -- and will that be enough of an outlet for his energy and physicality?
• Learning a foreign language is supposed to be easiest at a young age -- how do we provide that opportunity for our boys, if the public schools do not really have a means for teaching a foreign language except in the upper grades?

The list of questions goes on and on and on. We want the best for our boys, but we also want them to have a real experience of being little boys -- playing in the woods and riding bikes with their friends and making imaginary forts. Once they are in the public school system, can we just sit back and say that the educators know what they are doing and will challenge them adequately, so we, the parents, do not need to worry or supplement or consider sending them to private schools?

What about the studies that say that, economically, it makes more sense to invest $$$ in the early years of school than it does to play "catch up" and pay $$$ for the later years? And, all of this consternation about a proper education for our children is in preparation, ostensibly, for college? Or is it about making sure that they can function well in and contribute to society? And, if it is the latter, then, does it really matter whether Drew learns to read before he reaches kindergarten?

As for college, Brooke and I have a fairly practical approach for our boys -- neither of us cares about whether they go to an Ivy or even a top twenty-five school, for that matter. We want them to go to college first of all, and we want them to go where they feel comfortable, but, most importantly, where they can excel. If they want to (and are able to) go to an Ivy, we'll send them, but, an honors program at the state university and a semester abroad is fine with us as well. I want them to do well in college, and if they want to go to grad school, that is when I think getting into a really good school matters. But, college, as I posted a couple of posts ago, should be time to explore the world of ideas and your place in it.

So, after sending our children to the best public schools in our metro area, can we just sit back on auto-pilot and assume that they will get an adequate education -- that any gaps through the system will be filled in just because we will provide enrichment and perspective for them? Does fretting about their education every step of the way really produce different, better results -- and when we say "better" -- what does that mean, exactly?

Stressful.

At Least We're Not Notre Dame

You should have SEEN me on Saturday -- really. I was ridiculously elated over the whomping of Notre Dame. I would have been happy with any win -- but, it was just that much sweeter to wallop Notre Dame and hold them to a big, fat goose egg. Fabu.

I am still not holding out hope for the rest of Michigan's season -- once burned and all -- but, at least now I won't run screaming from the room while the game is on the television.

The Liberal Arts

When I was looking at colleges, I really wanted to go to a school that had great academics, a liberal arts bias, and a stellar music program. The school I ended up at -- DePauw University -- definitely had all three of those things. So, while I have a Bachelor of Music degree in performance, I learned a LOT academically at DePauw and got my "fix" of liberal arts studies and mode of thought through the Honor Scholar program.

Honor Scholar was the coolest class, and in some ways, I wish I could be in an Honor Scholar class for the rest of my life. We read a book a week and debated it with the same group of people for four years -- led by the comments and challenges of a professor. In my mind, it really does not get to be more fun than that -- I want to know how other people react to the same thing I am reading -- what was their thought process, what did they take away from that clever phrase, and what about their background gave them such a different perspective from mine?

What led me to this contemplation of and need to voice my appreciation for my Honor Scholar experience was an article in the New York Times looking back at Allan Bloom's "The Closing of the American Mind", published in 1987. The article talks about how Bloom's book pitted the vanguard of the classical literature canon against all of those whom would dare to suggest that students should read books written by women or minorities, and also points out that Bloom's emphasis upon thinking for thinking's sake while in college has fallen out of vogue due to the rising costs of college and the need to be able to put that degree to work to pay for college. Specifically:

Bloom himself wrote that a liberal education should provide a student with “four years of freedom” — “a space between the intellectual wasteland he has left behind and the inevitable dreary professional training that awaits him after the baccalaureate.” Whether students today see college as a time of freedom or a compulsory phase of credentialing is an open question. From Bloom’s perspective, “the importance of these years for an American cannot be overestimated. They are civilization’s only chance to get to him.”

And, I have to say that I read this paragraph and felt glad that I did have the opportunity to freely explore during college and leave the "dreary professional training" to my law school years. And, perhaps it is an open question for many about whether college is all about being able to make more bucks as compared to learning about the world and themselves, but, it was never a question for me. The issues of how I would make bucks came later -- college for me was about discovery and reading and learning, and I tend to agree with Bloom -- the importance of those years cannot be overestimated, at least in my own life.

Some Pix

I do not have a lot of pictures on my blog because Brooke is uncomfortable having photos of the children on the Internet. But, just a couple small pictures cannot hurt, right? :-)

Back to Work -- A Breastfeeding Mommy's Lament

I returned to the office and working full-time this week. I am still working from home three days a week and will continue to transition back into the office for another few weeks, but, I am once again commuting.

I remember when I first started going back to work after having Drew that the mornings were the worst part. Getting organized for the day, dressing myself, feeding the baby, and spending quality time with him -- all before getting in the car -- was so hard. That first month of going back to the office, I was just overwhelmed and disheartened, thinking that it was never going to get better and I was doomed to never get to work on-time again. It did get better, but, as I said, that first month was hard.

Same exact thing this time around. Before Mr. Crunch (one of our nicknames for Heath -- from Coffee Heath Bar Crunch), Drew and I had special "Mommy" time in the morning. We would eat breakfast together and he would sit in my lap and we would watch Arthur (because Mommy wanted to, not Drew, by the way!) together. Then, we would go upstairs and wake up Daddy and in between snuggling together in bed and some running around, I would get dressed for the day and leave.

But now, I have TWO children to try to spend time with and one of them needs to be breastfed, which makes things even more difficult. And, I forgot how stressful things can be when you are the sole source of nutrition for your child and have to spend so much time away from him. Huge anxiety over whether I am pumping enough -- is this the day that Brooke will have to break out the formula? Ugh.

But, the bright side of the story is that I will eventually work out a new schedule with the children in the morning so that I can get to work on-time, and Mr. Crunch is already eight weeks old, so, I really only have four more months of stressing about whether I am pumping enough. I can make it through that! In the meantime, I must rely upon the begrudged kindness and understanding of my boss and clients -- that is my only choice!

P.S. I don't feel any better about blasted Michigan. This season is dead as far as I am concerned. I'll check in with them again next year.

Two Posts in the Same Day!

Drew, my twenty-eight-month-old son, is obsessed with trains. Thomas the Tank Engine, specifically, but, also trains generally. He talks about trains all day long, every day. He wakes up and says "Watch Thomas and Friends?" We have to fight with him to get him to wear a non-Thomas t-shirt and Heaven forbid if he should lose track of his precious wooden "James" engine.

I have two comments about this -- 1) I never realized how many train-related things there are in the world (e.g., in the car -- train tracks!; at the park -- choo! choo! I hear the train!; movie about Chicago -- look at the El, it's a train!) and 2) I have sung the Thomas the Tank Engine theme songs so many times now that I have taken to dissecting it musically in my mind because I just cannot stand to have it run through my head in one inane, repeating piece anymore.

But, the funny rejoinder to this post is this -- last night, we were driving back from the beach LATE (it was after midnight) and had just stopped at a gas station, so Drew woke up from sleeping. As we were sitting at the gas station, we heard a train go by (see comment above) and he got all excited. When we hit the road again, we drove through a section where a skunk had been hit and that nasty smell filled the car -- Drew's comment? Nasty train! Stinky train! Brooke and I just started laughing hysterically and confirmed that indeed it WAS a nasty, stinky train! Evil parents, I know, but, if you have to keep your half-asleep toddler entertained in the car after midnight in the midst of being skunked (literally), I think it is okay to not correct your toddler's misimpressions.

Depths of Embarrassment

Okay, so, having just had a baby and actively breastfeeding said baby, I have been in a lot of situations that are potentially embarrassing in the last several weeks. The piece de resistance has got to be my world-record time in managing to get badly stung by a jellyfish while at the beach (Oak Island, NC) this weekend. After duly lathering up and managing to get the baby adequately fed, loaded into his sling, walking to the beach, getting the baby settled in his Moses basket on the beach and sufficiently sleepy -- I waltzed into the water and within a minute, was yelping in pain from a stupid jellyfish.

The most embarrassing part is that apparently I am allergic to jellyfish stings -- I know everyone reacts poorly to the toxins, but, the doc at urgent care told me that my reaction to the sting was the worst he has seen this season. Fabulous. Nasty, bright red welts on the upper part of my right thigh that then bubbled up and started weeping. Did I mention I was in the water for less than a minute? The only saving grace is that I was holding Drew at the time and managed to swing him completely clear of said jellyfish.

But, that sting PALES in comparison to the horrifying embarrassment of my alma mater getting beaten in the "biggest upset in college football history." OMG. One of the lessons I learned in law school at said alma mater (Michigan, for those of you blessed souls who know nothing about college football) was that you never ask a question you do not know that answer to in court -- EVER. One answer can destroy your entire case -- all the weeks, months of work down the tube in an instant because you were too stupid or lazy to get all the answers prior to being in court -- just imagine how embarrassing that would be -- in front of your colleagues, clients, opponents, the judge? The same logic should have been applied to Michigan's football schedule -- NEVER schedule a game with someone that it would be horrifyingly embarrassing to lose to. NEVER!

I don't even know what to do with myself, honestly. Brooke thinks it is absolutely hysterical to tweak me about it -- and it is not as though I can hide from it -- Appalachian State is just up the road from Charlotte! Do I continue to root for Michigan and hope they can at least save some face by having a stellar remainder of a season? Do I just give up on them and tune in again next year when they have a new coach? Can I trade in my Michigan Alumni credit card for the year and get a new dog collar for Scout so that I am not a laughing stock wherever I go?

I am truly surprised by the depths to which I am embarrassed about this -- but, I seriously feel like hanging my head in shame and disavowing all connections with Ann Arbor and refusing to ever talk about my interactions with Lloyd Carr when I was on campus ever again. Maybe I will feel better about it in a couple of weeks. We'll see.