Yellowstone and the Grand Tetons: Day 2:Part One – The Approach

So, we left Bozeman at 7AM to make the drive to Yellowstone – 88 miles.

We had decided to enter the park at the West entrance – via West Yellowstone, Montana -- and, efficient drivers that we typically are (or, “fast drivers” if you prefer), we expected to easily breeze into the park by 8:30AM. Although the trip did come off without a hitch, we got into the park around 9:15 – mostly because of construction, slow trucks, and the infamous supreme delay familiar to all parents of toddlers – the massive poopy diaper that stinks up the entire car. But, in this case, it was well-timed, because we pulled off in Big Sky, Montana . . .



and got to go hang out by this little river in the Gallatin Mountain range . . .





By approaching the park going south from Bozeman on 191 and entering through the West Entrance, we actually got to have some very good photo ops with the Welcome Sign:





See next post for our first day in Yellowstone . . .

Yellowstone and the Grand Tetons: Day 1 – Our Travel Day

We left the house, in the dark, at 5AM to make it on a 7:15AM flight to Chicago. We changed planes and flew into Bozeman, Montana, arriving at noon, Mountain Time. Bozeman has a tiny airport (no more than six gates), but, it was efficient and convenient. Our first impressions of Bozeman were that it was a lot hotter than we had anticipated (87 degrees), and that it was really flat and dry.

Here is the obligatory plane pic:




Brooke and I had originally thought about trying to get to Yellowstone on this first day, but, we decided it would be better to take the time to orient ourselves and shop for groceries, get a good night’s rest, and start off early the next morning for the park. This turned out to be a very good plan of attack.

So, we went into downtown Bozeman (all seven blocks of it) and had lunch at a place called Burger Bob’s, which was straight out of Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives. Seriously. Brooke and I both had the Cowboy Bob burger – sizzling hot burger with barbecue sauce, cheddar cheese, bacon, ice cold tomato and ice cold lettuce. It was so good. And, as most of you know, I am not one to give out kudos on burgers to just anyone. It was definitely the best burger we have both had in a very long time.

We stopped at the Chamber of Commerce to load up on about three inches worth of pamphlets, brochures, booklets, maps, and magazines. Yeah – we’re like that. While we were there, Brooke asked about what kinds of active diversions Bozeman had for children. The host blithely rattled off the three museums in town. When you have had your four-year-old and two-year-old up since 4:30AM and in airports or on planes for nine hours, the last thing you want to do is to drag them to a museum. You want to run their little bodies ragged so that they are as physically exhausted as the rest of them is.

So, Brooke asked about parks. The host mentioned a “Dinosaur Park”, which Drew overheard, so, off we went to the Dinosaur Park, because there was no way we were going to have any peace unless we went. It was actually very pleasant, and did exactly what we wanted – allowed the boys to run themselves ragged. It was kind of cool to be in a playground with mountains all around, except that it was ridiculously hot (and we are used to hot).

After our momentous travel day, we ate dinner at the hotel (the Bozeman Residence Inn by Marriott) – which consisted of food Mommy purchased at the Bozeman SuperWalmart. The boys were in bed by 6:30 Mountain Time, and Brooke literally passed out on the couch at 8:05PM.

The Big Read

The Big Read is an NEA program designed to encourage community reading initiatives.

They've come up with this list of the top 100 books, using criteria they don't explain, and they estimate that the average adult has only read 6 of these. (I have actually read a full 50 of these books!)

So, we are encouraged to:

1) Look at the list and bold those we have read.
2) Italicize those we intend to read.
3) Underline the books we LOVE (Since Blogger won't let me underline, I've turned these pink)
4) Reprint this list in our own blogs.

Here goes...What about you?

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien

3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling

5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

6 The Bible

7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte

8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell

9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman

10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens

11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott

12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy

13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller

14 Complete Works of Shakespeare

15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier

16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien

17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks

18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger

19 The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger

20 Middlemarch - George Eliot

21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell

22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald

23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens

24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy

25 The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams

26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh

27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck

29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll

30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame

31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens

33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis

34 Emma - Jane Austen

35 Persuasion - Jane Austen

36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis

37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres

39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden

40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne

41 Animal Farm - George Orwell

42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown

43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving

45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins

46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery

47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy

48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood

49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding

50 Atonement - Ian McEwan

51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel

52 Dune - Frank Herbert

53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons

54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen

55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth

56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens

58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley

59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon

60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck

62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt

64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold

65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas

66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac

67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy

68 Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding

69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie

70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville

71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens

72 Dracula - Bram Stoker

73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett

74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson

75 Ulysses - James Joyce

76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath

77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome

78 Germinal - Emile Zola

79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray

80 Possession - AS Byatt

81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens

82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell

83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker

84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro

85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert

86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry

87 Charlotte's Web - EB White

88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom

89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton

91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad

92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks

94 Watership Down - Richard Adams

95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole

96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute

97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas

98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare

99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl

100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Business Travel

So, I have to travel all the way across the country next week for my job. I have been preparing for this trip for quite a while -- from the meetings I need to schedule, to the details of the trip itself, to keeping my emotions in check about being away from my babies. Or so I thought.

I have meetings scheduled, but, having never been to this location before, I have no idea where to go, what to do, and how to get access. Additionally, after much hemming and hawing, I am going to come back a day earlier than originally planned, but, I still need to make that change.

But, most importantly, it hit me tonight that I am going to be away from both boys and Brooke for FOUR nights! Ack! I almost started crying tonight when I thought about it. :-(

I have not been by myself for this long -- no Brooke, no children -- in, ummmmm, hmmm -- at least four years. (Oddly, that last trip was to the same general locale.)

Maybe (after the first night) I will just catch up on sleep and not miss my babies. I say after the first night because, try as I may, I never sleep well the first night I am away from Brooke. The second night I am so tired from not sleeping the first night that I just pass out. But, that first night is a doozy.

And, now I have officially crossed into overthinking . . .

Ode to My Husband, the Stay-At-Home Dad, on Father's Day

In honor of Father's Day, I just wanted to document in my blog the great things about Brooke being a stay-at-home dad:

1. By staying at home, Brooke allows me to really focus on my career without feeling like I am short-changing my children. I can shoot for the stars and know that he will be there to give our boys the love and care they deserve.

2. Brooke keeps me grounded and helps me remember that, as exciting as professional opportunities can be, the joy of children is fleeting in comparison.

3. He is willing to be a stay-at-home dad even in the South, of all places. Let me just say that it is NOT the norm down here.

4. He loves our boys with a passion. I think about how many children grow up without really knowing their fathers, and I am just so happy that our boys will know their Daddy very, very well. And, as mentioned above, Brooke will make sure that they know me very, very well.

5. He is happy for me doing -- well, at least not poorly (I could always be at a higher position!) -- in my career. There is no sense of competition, no sense of regret or envy. He is truly supportive and happy for me.

6. He drives a mini-van -- it's an Odyssey (which is the stay-at-home dad's vehicle of choice, btw) and is proud of it.

7. He is still just as much of a guy as anyone that I come into contact with at work -- he is still the guy's guy, up on sports, and ready to engage in the all of those manly sports and activities (i.e., golf, fishing, boating, etc.).

8. He loves me, for all of my faults and shortcomings, in spite of my neuroses and need for him to love me. He loves me.

9. My boys adore him and have incredibly wonderful self-confidence.

Okay, if I keep going I might get mushy or something, so I am going to stop.

Happy Father's Day.

Why I Have Never Liked Hillary Clinton

Read this. 'Nuff said.

Updates on cuteness

Okay, so, Baby Heath (yes, that's still what we call him, poor thing) is now 10 1/2 months old. He is a bruiser, just like his brother always was, and instead of a head of gorgeous, abundant curls, Mr. Heath Bar Crunch is still rather scanty in the hair department. He is crawling all over the place and has begun cruising too. He now cries when Drew plays outside and Heath is stuck in the stroller -- he wants to run and play too! And, just this morning, he wreaked his first bit of havoc on the house by literally ripping the electrical socket wall plate off the wall in his quest to chew on the electrical cord of my laptop. (Don't worry, I was right there.) If possible, he is proving to be more stubborn than Drew Caleb. But, when he not being stubborn, he has the sunniest personality. One of his adorable quirks is to grab a piece of paper or a raisin or other inappropriately too small piece of edible or inedible anything, stick it in his mouth and suck on it for HOURS. Brooke is much more adept at retrieving said items from his mouth than me -- I tend to just watch Heath think it is the greatest thing in the world to have something he is not supposed to in his mouth.

And, then, there is the Drew update. We had a major break-through last week -- he made it through an entire day at school in his underwear! So much for potty-training before age 3 (he turned 3 last month) and so much for it "just clicking" one day. The process has been gradually painful with all sorts of setbacks and complete regressions. Girls, I understand, are much better. (Duh.)

But, I am amused to report that Drew has quite the imagination. He tells us all sorts of stories about various animals that have chased him or bitten him or played with him. For a while, it was deer (we see them regularly in our backyard), then it was crocodiles, and now he alternates between alligators and bears.

Drew: Mommy! The alligator bit me!
Mommy: He did! That bad alligator -- show me where . . .
Drew: Right here -- Mommy kisses it.
Mommy: >>kiss<< Is that better?
Drew: Yeah. Alligator needs to go to time-out, he was a bad boy.
Mommy: That's right. Where's the alligator?
Drew: Over there.
Mommy: Alligator!? Go to time out, now!
Drew: >>giggling<<

Drew also comes up with silly non-word terms and thinks it is hysterical for Mommy and Daddy to use them. His favorite non-word is "gau gau" -- as in, "That's a gau gau banana -- I don't want to eat it!" How cute is that!

I have to say that I always wondered what it would be like to have a conversation with Drew, and now that I do have conversations with him and he shows me how rich his imagination is and how good a sense of humor he has, I am completely enthralled. Of course, I AM his Mommy, so, perhaps that has something to do with it.

Back to Blogging

So, I have taken quite the hiatus from blogging -- my last post was in November. The break was self-imposed, but, I have finally gotten over taking myself too seriously and decided to blog again. Most of you who spend any time at my blog (or will spend time at my blog -- since I have to re-introduce it now) know me well enough to know that taking myself too seriously is a life-long challenge for me.

You see, at my financial services company, I am the lawyer responsible for all things Web 2.0. I spend a lot of time trying to figure out the risks and mitigation plans associated with information being improperly disclosed about the company in company-sanctioned blogs and the like, but, also what to do about seemingly harmless comments in employee's personal blogs and postings that nevertheless disclose confidential info about the company.

Back in the fall, it wigged me out to no end that not only did a neighbor find my blog, but, someone at work found it too. Enter the "taking myself too seriously" part, and work on the blog ceased.

What has changed? Have I magically come to terms with the thought that my clients might be able to read through my rants, inane observations, and lovingly documented cute stories about the boys? No. Have I come up with a fire-proof way to insulate my company against unwitting disclosures in personal blogs? No. But, I figure that the specter of that will ensure that I keep the blog as work-free as possible. And, if my clients want to read this blog -- all the power to them!

Tagged by Mary Beth

1. Who eats more? I eat more meals, Brooke probably eats more total food. I like breakfast, need lunch, have a snack and then eat dinner. Brooke tends to "backload" -- and eats most of his food towards the end of the day.

2. Who said “I love you” first? I do not remember!

3. Who is the morning person? Definitely me. The school bus for the elementary school kids comes at 7:05AM -- Brooke will be in for a world of hurt when Drew starts going to school!

4. Who sings better? Definitely me. Brooke likes to sing but has a very relative sense of pitch.

5. Who’s older? Brooke is my old man.

6. Who’s smarter? I am smarter by the book, Brooke is smarter with real world issues.

7. Whose temper is worse? Brooke's.

8. Who does the laundry? We have this responsibility divided -- Brooke generally runs the laundry, hangs up things, and puts away his clothes and Drew's clothes. I fold the t-shirts and put away my clothes and Baby Heath's clothes.

9. Who does the dishes? We both do the dishes.

10. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? If you are lying in bed, I am on the right side.

11. Whose feet are bigger? Brooke's.

12. Whose hair is longer? Mine.

13. Who’s better with the computer? Definitely me.

14. Do you have pets? Scout, our dog, and Dixie, my cat.

15. Who pays the bills? Usually, I do.

16. Who cooks dinner? Usually I do -- although Brooke is now making at least one meal a week. :-)

17. Who drives when you are together? Usually Brooke does -- I like to be chauffeured.

18. Who pays when you go out to dinner? We both do.

19. Who’s the most stubborn? Depends upon who you ask! :-)

20. Who is the first one to admit when they’re wrong? Also depends upon who you ask!

21. Whose family do you see more? We see both sides fairly often (that's why we moved to Charlotte). We probably see Brooke's parents more frequently, but, see my parents for longer periods of time.

22. Who named your pet? We named Scout together -- I named Dixie.

23. Who kissed who first? Brooke kissed me.

24. Who asked who out? Brooke asked me.

25. What did you do on your first date? We went out to dinner in Adams-Morgan.

26. Who’s more sensitive? Probably me, but, Brooke can be surprisingly sensitive too (that's one of the things I love about him).

27. Who’s taller? Brooke towers 6 1/2 inches above me.

28. Who has more friends?. Interesting question -- I have friends who live all over the country and whom we see individually less frequently, almost all of Brooke's friends live in the DC area, and we tend to see them in groups and a bit more often.

29. Who has more siblings? We both have a younger sister.

30. Who wears the pants in the relationship? Good question!

Some Random Thoughts

* How depressing. Study after study shows that women just cannot win in the workplace. You either have the choice to be liked and not respected, or NOT liked, but have respect. This article talks about showing people four types of interviewees -- an angry man, an angry woman, a sad man, and a sad woman -- and telling them to assign a salary to the person. The person who was assigned the highest salary? The angry man. The person with the lowest salary? The angry woman. That makes ME angry -- guess it's time to reduce my bonus!

* In my last post, I was fussing about not "getting" RSS feeds. I learned this week why this was bothering me so much. We bought a new laptop this weekend -- our first new laptop since January 2003. And, on the Vista desktop, I saw the RSS feed newsreader, along with some other little programs that appeared to be able to hook up to the Internet. And then, at work, I learned that those other programs are something called "widgets" that sit on your computer, but, get fed constantly by the internet . . . just like the RSS feed newsreader. So, RSS feeds were just an initial iteration of this new technology!

* Halloween is LOTS of fun with a two-year-old.

* I just saw the end of American President -- it makes me think bad thoughts about George Bush even more than I normally do.

Technology Passing Me By?

As many of you know, I spend a lot of time in my job talking about and advising on new technologies. I have been working, professionally, on web-related legal issues since I graduated from law school, so, I feel pretty comfortable with both the technology aspects and the legal aspects presented. But, every now and then I begin to feel like technology is starting to pass me by, and I wonder if there will come a day -- given my chosen niche -- when I am no longer relevant because I have failed to keep up.

For example, I have seen RSS feeds do their thing, but, I still do not quite understand the point of them. So, they update constantly and you can read them if you have an RSS feed reader -- so? Aren't websites updated constantly and you can read them with your browser? What is it about an RSS feed that is better/different? I have tried to read about the feeds, but, I just don't get it -- I need someone to sit down with me and talk me through them. Practically speaking, I do not really need to know HOW they work technically speaking and WHY they are preferable to updated websites -- I just need to know that it is a method for obtaining and presenting updated content quickly. But, I would feel better if I understood them better.

Another example of areas that I have not really been paying attention to is MySpace and Facebook. Aside from the fact that I am about twice the age of the average user of those sites, I thought that they were more cultural phenomena than technological innovation. Au contraire. These communities are really sophisticated and have all sorts of cool functionality. Imagine my surprise! At least it has been relatively easy figuring these sites out!

But, seriously, I remember in college calling the elderly guy who ran one of the community service programs. He was not there, and so voicemail picked up and what I heard was him talking to another person in the room saying, "What do I say? That I'm not here and to leave a message? Okay, but, I don't understand." BEEEEEEP In other words, he was of a generation where answering machines and voicemail were new-fangled technology and he just did not understand it and could not bend his mind around it.

I think about whether that will happen to me -- is it even a question of whether, or is it more reasonable to say "when?" Let's say I retire at 65 and live another twenty years -- will I keep up with technology when it is not an integral part of putting bread on my table? I like to think that I will, but, I find myself wondering whether someday I will be that elderly guy?

Three Months Old

So, our little Coffee Heath Bar Crunch is now three months old. He has turned into a chubby breastfed baby with that plump little face they all have and some adorable chunks and dimples on his thighs -- a far cry from the long, skinny baby we brought home from the hospital. In fact, in many ways he seems to be completely different from the baby he was when he was first born. Only now are Brooke and I beginning to process through how truly terrifying and anxiety-provoking things were right after Heath was born.

As you may know, Heath was born nineteen days early. The day that he was born, I felt poorly in the morning and by noon was having contractions. But, I had had so many false alarms and bouts of false labor, that neither Brooke nor I thought that this was going to be it. That day folks at work threw me a baby shower, and I sat in the shower, breathing through contractions and all of the experienced moms said, "Honey, you're in labor -- you need to go to the doctor." Brooke was with me at the shower, so, once it was over, we went to my office and called the doctor and got an appointment within the hour.



When we got to the doctor, we found out that I was indeed having demonstrably painful, true contractions, but, that the baby was still floating high and that I was really not progressing. Based upon my track record with Drew's delivery, the doctor recommended a repeat c-section, even though I really wanted to try for a VBAC. Brooke and I talked through it and after many tears on my part, we decided to follow the doctor's advice.

We proceeded directly to the hospital, since I was in active labor, and I was put into observation -- no nice labor and delivery suite for me -- just some tiny room off the nurse's station. The c-section was scheduled for 7PM, and as I said -- we had not thought that this would be the day, so while we had Brooke's mom en route to take care of Drew, Brooke wanted to take advantage of the time we had to go and get Drew and get the house organized, etc. Although as I write this it seems insane for me to have agreed to this, I told Brooke to go. So, I sat in that horrible little room, having contractions, waiting for the c-section for hours all by myself.

The doctor who was going to be doing the actual c-section came in to talk to me and confirmed again that I was indeed in active labor. He checked things one last time and found that I had actually managed to dilate some, but, that the baby had still not dropped into the birth canal -- he told me that that meant to him that if I did not go for a c-section right away, I had at least a 75% chance of needing a c-section eventually.

Brooke finally arrived back at the hospital and things started moving really fast. They got me prepped for surgery and administered the spinal (same idea as an epidural, but, the medicines are delivered lower) and strapped me to the table. Folks who have not gone through a c-section are always surprised to hear about the strapping, but, they strap your arms down because you are conscious during the surgery and you may instinctively flail around and disrupt the surgery.

Brooke came in and sat next to my head and the surgery began. When the baby came out, he cried once or twice and then there was nothing except the doctor saying quite firmly that he needed more hands in the room for the baby. People started streaming into the room -- and since I could not see what was going on and was not hearing the baby cry, I started yelling, "Is he breathing? Is my baby breathing?" My memory is all kind of jumbled at this point -- but, it seemed like it took them a really long time to answer me. They finally said that he was breathing, but, needed to go down to the NICU for stabilization. I got to see him very briefly, and then they whisked him away while they turned their attention back to closing me up.

They moved me into post-op and news about the baby's status was very slow to come. I was in post-op with another mommy, and they brought her baby in to see her. We ended up leaving post-op without our little Heath. As it turned out, I did not get to see Heath until more than twelve hours later. Heath stayed in the NICU for a week, and although he was born on Wednesday night, I was not allowed to hold him until Sunday, and even then, I got to hold him briefly.

It appears that even though Heath was 37 weeks, 2 days old when he was born, and his lungs should have been mature, they were not. So, those first days of his life, he was not able to breathe properly on his own and was hooked up to all sorts of machinery that breathed for him. Apparently babies who are as big as Heath was (7 pounds, 11 ounces and 21 inches) and are born with this inability to breathe properly usually improve in the first twenty-four hours, so, when Heath did not improve during that time period, Brooke and I really started to worry.

Visiting Heath was torturous for me -- I was not allowed to hold him and he was hooked up to all sorts of machines, and because he was not improving, the warning bells went off regularly while I was sitting with him -- causing the nurses to come running over, play with the machines, reposition Heath, etc. The first couple of times I went to see him, I just cried and cried. I would go back to my post-delivery room and cry some more. It was so strange to be in the hospital, to have my milk start to come in, to no longer be pregnant, and yet not have a baby with me.

It was even stranger to go home without the baby and rattle around the house, play with Drew, and not have a baby with me. We would go to see Heath twice a day, and that process in and of itself was exhausting and stressful.

When we finally got to bring him home a full week after he had been born, he came home with a bili light machine, and even though he had to have the lights on him twenty-four hours a day, I was so happy to finally be able to hold him as much as I wanted.

As I look at Heath now, it is hard to believe that this is the little baby whose isolette I sat next to, sobbing, watching his poor little body fighting so hard to breathe. His breathing is perfect now, and as I started off this post saying -- he is plump and healthy and thriving -- no doubt about it. He coos at us and shows us social smiles and already knows to pre-emptively cry when his big brother starts getting too riled up. We love this little guy so much, and try not to think about how serious things were there for a while -- how in another day or time or country, he would not have survived.

I am so glad that NICUs exist, but, if I never have to go into one again, I will be happy, and I do not wish a baby in a NICU on even my most loathed enemy. All's well that ends well, I suppose, but, I think it will still take both me and Brooke some time to embrace that perspective.

Homework for Parents

Apparently I have education on the brain these days. Today I read an article (from the New York Times) about a high school English teacher who requires parents to do homework and post their responses on a blog that he created for them. If the parents do not do the homework, then, he will actually lower the student's grade.

I think this is GREAT, and while I really would not want to do homework for all classes, every day ,or even every semester, I would love to have an opportunity to talk to my surly teenager about what he is reading, what he thinks, and compare notes on what he wrote versus what I wrote. But, when I think about it, I guess I have this romantic notion that I will do something like that anyway -- that I will read through their text books at the beginning of the year, see what they are learning, and then use some of what they are learning to have conversations with them and see how they are thinking, and to challenge them. I remember wishing that I could have my parents take part in conversations like that, from time to time, when I was in school.

Does everyone think that they will do something like that with their kids and just never get around to it because being an adult is hard (it IS hard) and busy and that project at work needs getting done more than re-reading something and discussing it with your kids? Or am I just a huge geek?

I know I am not that much of a geek, because Brooke (who is not usually a geek) and I have both talked about how we feel like we will need to take a community college course in biology, chemistry, physics, computer science, and basic college math before our boys take those classes in high school. For the science classes -- so much has changed since Brooke and I were in school that we feel like we will need the classes to learn about what has happened in the last twenty, thirty years. Heck, in the seven years between when Brooke was in school and I was in school, there were major developments! As for the math class -- that is so that we can help with boys with algebra, trig, geometry, and calculus.

Perhaps it is pie-in-the-sky -- but, I bet that Brooke and I get involved early and often in the boys' education. Even now, we try to get information about the "curriculum" Drew is being taught at preschool and reinforce it at home -- in addition to the letters, numbers, shapes, and colors -- the preschool has a theme each week where they teach new vocabulary and gear the art projects, stories, songs, etc. to that theme. So, there was an "animal in springtime" theme and there has already been a "harvest theme", etc. Now, Drew is only 2, so, we are not talking major teaching/education going on here, but, at least it is something that causes him to use his brain and make associations.

So, anyway, those are my thoughts on the issue.

Educating Our Children

Wow -- I thought that figuring out the best path for my career was laden with difficulty and stress. But, little did I know that the REAL stress comes in trying to figure out what is the optimal way to educate my child. Here are some of the questions Brooke and I have been grappling with:

• At what age should we start worrying about their "academics"?
• At what age should we send them to preschool full-time, or should we ever do that?
• Should we require that the preschool offer things such as Spanish language classes and music classes?
• Assuming we get them onto the right track in preschool, how will the public school kindergarten in our area compare?
• How soon do our public schools offer accelerated tracks and what can we do to ensure that our little boys end up on those accelerated tracks?
• We have a very active and physical little boy -- the balance of academics with physical activity is important for him -- how do we achieve that balance?
• When do we start him in organized sports -- and will that be enough of an outlet for his energy and physicality?
• Learning a foreign language is supposed to be easiest at a young age -- how do we provide that opportunity for our boys, if the public schools do not really have a means for teaching a foreign language except in the upper grades?

The list of questions goes on and on and on. We want the best for our boys, but we also want them to have a real experience of being little boys -- playing in the woods and riding bikes with their friends and making imaginary forts. Once they are in the public school system, can we just sit back and say that the educators know what they are doing and will challenge them adequately, so we, the parents, do not need to worry or supplement or consider sending them to private schools?

What about the studies that say that, economically, it makes more sense to invest $$$ in the early years of school than it does to play "catch up" and pay $$$ for the later years? And, all of this consternation about a proper education for our children is in preparation, ostensibly, for college? Or is it about making sure that they can function well in and contribute to society? And, if it is the latter, then, does it really matter whether Drew learns to read before he reaches kindergarten?

As for college, Brooke and I have a fairly practical approach for our boys -- neither of us cares about whether they go to an Ivy or even a top twenty-five school, for that matter. We want them to go to college first of all, and we want them to go where they feel comfortable, but, most importantly, where they can excel. If they want to (and are able to) go to an Ivy, we'll send them, but, an honors program at the state university and a semester abroad is fine with us as well. I want them to do well in college, and if they want to go to grad school, that is when I think getting into a really good school matters. But, college, as I posted a couple of posts ago, should be time to explore the world of ideas and your place in it.

So, after sending our children to the best public schools in our metro area, can we just sit back on auto-pilot and assume that they will get an adequate education -- that any gaps through the system will be filled in just because we will provide enrichment and perspective for them? Does fretting about their education every step of the way really produce different, better results -- and when we say "better" -- what does that mean, exactly?

Stressful.

At Least We're Not Notre Dame

You should have SEEN me on Saturday -- really. I was ridiculously elated over the whomping of Notre Dame. I would have been happy with any win -- but, it was just that much sweeter to wallop Notre Dame and hold them to a big, fat goose egg. Fabu.

I am still not holding out hope for the rest of Michigan's season -- once burned and all -- but, at least now I won't run screaming from the room while the game is on the television.

The Liberal Arts

When I was looking at colleges, I really wanted to go to a school that had great academics, a liberal arts bias, and a stellar music program. The school I ended up at -- DePauw University -- definitely had all three of those things. So, while I have a Bachelor of Music degree in performance, I learned a LOT academically at DePauw and got my "fix" of liberal arts studies and mode of thought through the Honor Scholar program.

Honor Scholar was the coolest class, and in some ways, I wish I could be in an Honor Scholar class for the rest of my life. We read a book a week and debated it with the same group of people for four years -- led by the comments and challenges of a professor. In my mind, it really does not get to be more fun than that -- I want to know how other people react to the same thing I am reading -- what was their thought process, what did they take away from that clever phrase, and what about their background gave them such a different perspective from mine?

What led me to this contemplation of and need to voice my appreciation for my Honor Scholar experience was an article in the New York Times looking back at Allan Bloom's "The Closing of the American Mind", published in 1987. The article talks about how Bloom's book pitted the vanguard of the classical literature canon against all of those whom would dare to suggest that students should read books written by women or minorities, and also points out that Bloom's emphasis upon thinking for thinking's sake while in college has fallen out of vogue due to the rising costs of college and the need to be able to put that degree to work to pay for college. Specifically:

Bloom himself wrote that a liberal education should provide a student with “four years of freedom” — “a space between the intellectual wasteland he has left behind and the inevitable dreary professional training that awaits him after the baccalaureate.” Whether students today see college as a time of freedom or a compulsory phase of credentialing is an open question. From Bloom’s perspective, “the importance of these years for an American cannot be overestimated. They are civilization’s only chance to get to him.”

And, I have to say that I read this paragraph and felt glad that I did have the opportunity to freely explore during college and leave the "dreary professional training" to my law school years. And, perhaps it is an open question for many about whether college is all about being able to make more bucks as compared to learning about the world and themselves, but, it was never a question for me. The issues of how I would make bucks came later -- college for me was about discovery and reading and learning, and I tend to agree with Bloom -- the importance of those years cannot be overestimated, at least in my own life.

Some Pix

I do not have a lot of pictures on my blog because Brooke is uncomfortable having photos of the children on the Internet. But, just a couple small pictures cannot hurt, right? :-)

Back to Work -- A Breastfeeding Mommy's Lament

I returned to the office and working full-time this week. I am still working from home three days a week and will continue to transition back into the office for another few weeks, but, I am once again commuting.

I remember when I first started going back to work after having Drew that the mornings were the worst part. Getting organized for the day, dressing myself, feeding the baby, and spending quality time with him -- all before getting in the car -- was so hard. That first month of going back to the office, I was just overwhelmed and disheartened, thinking that it was never going to get better and I was doomed to never get to work on-time again. It did get better, but, as I said, that first month was hard.

Same exact thing this time around. Before Mr. Crunch (one of our nicknames for Heath -- from Coffee Heath Bar Crunch), Drew and I had special "Mommy" time in the morning. We would eat breakfast together and he would sit in my lap and we would watch Arthur (because Mommy wanted to, not Drew, by the way!) together. Then, we would go upstairs and wake up Daddy and in between snuggling together in bed and some running around, I would get dressed for the day and leave.

But now, I have TWO children to try to spend time with and one of them needs to be breastfed, which makes things even more difficult. And, I forgot how stressful things can be when you are the sole source of nutrition for your child and have to spend so much time away from him. Huge anxiety over whether I am pumping enough -- is this the day that Brooke will have to break out the formula? Ugh.

But, the bright side of the story is that I will eventually work out a new schedule with the children in the morning so that I can get to work on-time, and Mr. Crunch is already eight weeks old, so, I really only have four more months of stressing about whether I am pumping enough. I can make it through that! In the meantime, I must rely upon the begrudged kindness and understanding of my boss and clients -- that is my only choice!

P.S. I don't feel any better about blasted Michigan. This season is dead as far as I am concerned. I'll check in with them again next year.

Two Posts in the Same Day!

Drew, my twenty-eight-month-old son, is obsessed with trains. Thomas the Tank Engine, specifically, but, also trains generally. He talks about trains all day long, every day. He wakes up and says "Watch Thomas and Friends?" We have to fight with him to get him to wear a non-Thomas t-shirt and Heaven forbid if he should lose track of his precious wooden "James" engine.

I have two comments about this -- 1) I never realized how many train-related things there are in the world (e.g., in the car -- train tracks!; at the park -- choo! choo! I hear the train!; movie about Chicago -- look at the El, it's a train!) and 2) I have sung the Thomas the Tank Engine theme songs so many times now that I have taken to dissecting it musically in my mind because I just cannot stand to have it run through my head in one inane, repeating piece anymore.

But, the funny rejoinder to this post is this -- last night, we were driving back from the beach LATE (it was after midnight) and had just stopped at a gas station, so Drew woke up from sleeping. As we were sitting at the gas station, we heard a train go by (see comment above) and he got all excited. When we hit the road again, we drove through a section where a skunk had been hit and that nasty smell filled the car -- Drew's comment? Nasty train! Stinky train! Brooke and I just started laughing hysterically and confirmed that indeed it WAS a nasty, stinky train! Evil parents, I know, but, if you have to keep your half-asleep toddler entertained in the car after midnight in the midst of being skunked (literally), I think it is okay to not correct your toddler's misimpressions.

Depths of Embarrassment

Okay, so, having just had a baby and actively breastfeeding said baby, I have been in a lot of situations that are potentially embarrassing in the last several weeks. The piece de resistance has got to be my world-record time in managing to get badly stung by a jellyfish while at the beach (Oak Island, NC) this weekend. After duly lathering up and managing to get the baby adequately fed, loaded into his sling, walking to the beach, getting the baby settled in his Moses basket on the beach and sufficiently sleepy -- I waltzed into the water and within a minute, was yelping in pain from a stupid jellyfish.

The most embarrassing part is that apparently I am allergic to jellyfish stings -- I know everyone reacts poorly to the toxins, but, the doc at urgent care told me that my reaction to the sting was the worst he has seen this season. Fabulous. Nasty, bright red welts on the upper part of my right thigh that then bubbled up and started weeping. Did I mention I was in the water for less than a minute? The only saving grace is that I was holding Drew at the time and managed to swing him completely clear of said jellyfish.

But, that sting PALES in comparison to the horrifying embarrassment of my alma mater getting beaten in the "biggest upset in college football history." OMG. One of the lessons I learned in law school at said alma mater (Michigan, for those of you blessed souls who know nothing about college football) was that you never ask a question you do not know that answer to in court -- EVER. One answer can destroy your entire case -- all the weeks, months of work down the tube in an instant because you were too stupid or lazy to get all the answers prior to being in court -- just imagine how embarrassing that would be -- in front of your colleagues, clients, opponents, the judge? The same logic should have been applied to Michigan's football schedule -- NEVER schedule a game with someone that it would be horrifyingly embarrassing to lose to. NEVER!

I don't even know what to do with myself, honestly. Brooke thinks it is absolutely hysterical to tweak me about it -- and it is not as though I can hide from it -- Appalachian State is just up the road from Charlotte! Do I continue to root for Michigan and hope they can at least save some face by having a stellar remainder of a season? Do I just give up on them and tune in again next year when they have a new coach? Can I trade in my Michigan Alumni credit card for the year and get a new dog collar for Scout so that I am not a laughing stock wherever I go?

I am truly surprised by the depths to which I am embarrassed about this -- but, I seriously feel like hanging my head in shame and disavowing all connections with Ann Arbor and refusing to ever talk about my interactions with Lloyd Carr when I was on campus ever again. Maybe I will feel better about it in a couple of weeks. We'll see.